Duncan paused the moment he heard the knock at his front door. It was loud. Assertive. He cautiously stood behind the heavy wood, “yes, hello.”

“It’s the police, is Mr Duncan Trywood home?” a firm female voice asked.

“Yes, I am him.”

“Can you please open the door so we may ask you some questions?”

“OK,” he eased the door open. It was close to dark, he could see the bright lights from a police car pointed at his house. Two portly female officers stood in his porch, one held a folder. Near their car was a rod thin male officer who looked more like a boy who would chase electric trains, rather than criminals.

“We are here following up a series of online posts made by you in recent days,” the young female officer with the folder said.

“What online posts?”

She opened up the folder and showed him photocopies of a recent movie review he had made, he frowned once he saw it, “you mean my review of a movie?”

“Yes. You gave the movie one out of five stars and alleged that it was, “modern filth” and, “a disgrace to the source material.”

He nodded, still uncertain what his crime was, “yes, I wrote that.”

The two officers looked at one another, a shared expression of disdain washed over their eyes, “sir, are you aware that this sort of expression is akin to hate speech and could be considered an offensive affront to some members of the community who may disagree with your opinions?”

“I understand that people may disagree with me, I just did not enjoy the movie.”

“Listen, I understand that you did not enjoy the movie, it is just inappropriate for you to voice this opinion publicly.”

“Why?” He asked.

The other female officer stepped close to him, she scowled, “because no one cares what you have to say. What you said was offensive and inappropriate.”

“So, you are arresting me?”

The other officer shook her head, “no, this is a caution. You need to remove all of your related posts and reviews expressing these opinions.”

“And if I wrote a review praising the movie?”

“Then it would be appropriate.”

“How will I know what films are allowed to be praised or which ones I can criticise?”

The other officer shook her head, “people who know such a thing would not need to ask that kind of question.”

“Then how can I become someone who would know what I am allowed to review in the positive or negative?”

The officers turned to leave, “have a good night sir. If you don’t want us returning then it’s advised for you to remove the reviews and related posts. We will be monitoring.”

“OK, have a good night.”

The train set officer waved at him as all three returned into the police car.

Duncan was confused, and went inside. He was determined to do the right thing. He removed his movie reviews and wandered to himself what other ones he had made which would also be considered inappropriate. He read his previous reviews, those positive, indifferent and negative and did his best to decide what was allowed. Instead, he did what all responsible citizens should do. He deleted his account and in turn removed every one of his film reviews.

He went to his bedroom, and opened up an empty exercise book and wrote out his movie reviews on pen and paper. Including the one he had just been cautioned for. He kept it a negative review, now he made it extra scathing. He closed the book and hid it some where safe, making sure no one could see his illicit contraband. As he lay in bed that night he asked himself the question, “am I criminal?”

He probably was. But, he kept writing his reviews into his book where no one could see them.