MOAB is the new greatest show on earth. Donald Trump is the first President to have seamlessly merged reality television with war. Like the director of an old Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, he’s constantly looking for ever-bigger explosions to wow the audience to distract from the aging actor.
The Copper-Toned Coprolite traded in Neilsen for Rasmussen and Gallup two years ago, but MOAB is the new way to the top of the ratings. Immediately after authorizing the bombing, and fresh from make-up (presumably thrashing his head amongst the rubble of the bottom of a nearly empty Cheetos bag), Trump assured Americans he was proud of the military in a sit-down photo-op with generals in uniform who had lots of medals. This sit-down is the new Red Carpet walk for the septuagenarian star.
Back to MOAB: “This is the right munition to reduce these obstacles and maintain the momentum of our offensive against ISIS-K,” General John W. Nicholson assured Americans in a press release, explaining they wanted to take out an ISIS “tunnel complex.” It’s certainly the right munition for the McAlester Army Ammunition Plant, which manufactures the MOAB at $16 million per unit.
But the MOAB is not designed for penetration into tunnels. A bunker-buster bomb, which is made for penetrating into the kind of tunnels the military claimed they were going after, costs a measly $145,600 per bomb. It doesn’t look or sound nearly as cool, though. There’s no “wow” effect. Thus, the MOAB. Cynics would claim it was about more funding for the Military-Industrial Complex, but they’re wrong. This was about the show, not about money. That it’s a show with the biggest budget ever is not important; that it’s the biggest show ever is all-important. The greater cost of the bombs was not the Oscar, but only the gift bag at the Oscars.
The recent bombings in Syria, Iraq and Afghanistan – it’s clear to anyone paying attention – have been for show. Consider the April 6 bombings by the U.S. against the Syrian Air Force base that had allegedly used chemical weapons in Khan Shaykhun. The Syrian Air Force was flying sorties to bomb the same neighborhood later that same day from the same air base. Reuters news service said (citing a British humanitarian group the Observatory), “had ‘done the impossible’ in order to continue using it for sorties.”
Actually, it’s quite possible if you warn the enemy when and where you’re coming and then don’t bomb the runway. And that’s just what the U.S. did. Russia – who is working with Assad’s government on the ground – was told which airport was going to be hit in advance. As for not bombing the runway, Trump tweeted the next day that “The reason you don’t generally hit runways is that they are easy and inexpensive to quickly fix (fill in and top)!”
Some cynics might complain that Trump has been inconsistent with his campaign promises. For example, in 2014 he tweeted that “I would not go into Syria, but if I did it would be by surprise and not blurted all over the media like fools.” In his defense, he technically didn’t blurt it out to the media, only to the target of the bombings. All right, that’s not really a defense. Trump also tweeted that same year that “The President must get Congressional approval before attacking Syria-big mistake if he does not!” And Trump didn’t go to Congress before bombing Assad, presumably because art reviewed by a committee never has the same artistic quality.
Trump has been consistent with regard to his campaign promises, however. In cases where the Vermilion Vulgarian pledged to “bomb the $#!%” out of ISIS and other warmongering postures, he’s kept his promises. And where Trump has pledged to leave nations alone, he’s broken all of those promises. As Lenin said, “promises, like pie crusts, are made to be broken.” But there’s a consistency in his position.
Just because Trump lied doesn’t mean he’s inconsistent. As Secretary of Defense James Forrestal once told Senator Joe McCarthy, “consistency has never been a mark of stupidity. If they were merely stupid, they would occasionally make a mistake in our favor.”
There’s more than enough evidence to prove President Circus Peanut is consistent, not stupid. His consistency is in putting on the greatest show on earth, greater than any gladiator circus orchestrated by Roman emperors. And the crowds today cheer in the modern-day Colosseum of Facebook and Twitter, expressing gratitude that the Marmalade Molester is not, in their words, a “pussy.”
I know. It’s kind of an awkward phrase for the Trumpkins to use, considering their Dear Leader’s personal history. But they’re not talking about that kind of pussy. Usually, not being a “pussy” means bombing the snot out of a country that never harmed any Americans, and then later acting all “shocked, shocked!” by the blowback from the widows and orphans whom we subsequently label “savages.” Christ’s “Golden Rule” of treating your neighbor as yourself is so out-of-fashion. Ron Paul didn’t get booed at a Republican presidential debate in 2012 for nothing.
This isn’t about right and wrong, It isn’t about defeating an enemy to America. And it isn’t even about funding the Military-Industrial Complex. It’s about show-business. Before he left the small screen for the world’s biggest stage, Pumpkin-Head tweeted that “If Obama attacks Syria and innocent civilians are hurt and killed, he and the U.S. will look very bad!” For Trump, that was 300 innocent civilians ago. Civilians matter no more than budgets.
Neither does an end-game for Syria matter, where the U.S. Air Force is striking both ISIS and the Syrian government at the same time. It doesn’t matter who in Syria benefits, even if this makes the U.S. government the unofficial air force of al Qaeda. Al Qaeda’s affiliate Tahrir al-Sham is the sole remaining significant power on the ground in Syria that the U.S. Air Force and Navy is not bombing. In effect, Trump has turned our pilots into al Qaeda’s air force.
It’s only been 16 years since 9/11. Have we Americans forgotten so soon who attacked us that day?
The answer for those who haven’t been paying attention is: Yes, many have forgotten. Perhaps they should be reminded. But that would risk ending the greatest show on earth.