See, Israel is our greatest ally in the whole wide world — just don’t ask for specifics of anything they have ever done for the U.S. — and they love gays and pot and democracy and electric scooters. Israel, why it’s just like a little Connecticut on the Mediterranean.

Also, fully half of the population under their control have no rights their government is bound to respect, simply because they’re not Jewish. Israel, why it’s just like a little 1950s Mississippi on the Mediterranean.