Que Darude’s techno classic Sandstorm.
It’s Whitehouse or bust for the Democrats in 2020 and the Iowa Caucus is almost a year away, with the first primary debates slated to begin this June.
This year the DNC has promised to allow all candidates to debate no matter how they’re polling and, if need be, randomly separate the candidates into two groups and hold two debates.
That way the Democrats can look like they’re being fair, but really just keep this year’s Bernie separated from this year’s Hillary.
Much like the Looney Toons’ movie Space Jam, the Democratic party is in dire need of finding and courting its very own Michael Jordan to defeat the rich, exploitative, and jowly showman that is the sitting president.
Without a Michael Jordan, well they’re just a team of zaney, incompetent twits, aren’t they?
That theory is becoming less and less likely as candidates with more establishment clout enter the race each day.
Their previous primary lineup of Hillary, Bernie, Lincoln Chaffey, that angry Vietnam guy, and someone else; that was the DNC alley-ooping Hillary to set up a slam-dunk on Donald Trump – the DNC’s Washington Generals – so they thought.
All the forty-something year old Democrat hotshots stepped aside, knowing that their only two options were to wait eight more years or be eternally crushed by the Clinton machine.
The candidates that once disavowed Bernie Sanders’ continued run against Hillary now mimic his campaign platform while vying for the support of the establishment, which itself selects the nominee in the end through super delegates and media manipulation.
There’s nothing democratic about the Democratic primary, as we all know now.
Seasoned political veterans, Obama affiliates and previous losers Joe Biden and John Kerry have both confirmed that they’re considering a 2020 run but have yet to formally announce a decision.
Something tells me, though, that if the DNC is going to choose a candidate who has previously lost a primary or the general election, they’re not going with these guys.
With eight Democrats officially running and several more likely to enter the race, even Bernie gives off the feel of an old-guard candidate but has stated that he will only run if he’s “the best candidate” in the field.
Aside from superdelegates and lack of coverage, Bernie’s biggest problem was that he couldn’t win over black America in 2016 and, the older and wackier he gets, the less likely he’ll be able to fill up the campaign buses on primary days.
He’s 77 years old and can’t remember to brush his own hair, let alone what the CNN anchor’s name is who he’s talking to, and he probably won’t be able to compete with the more youthful faces espousing basically the same politics.
In a poll conducted by SheThePeople.org, a site that polls left-leaning minority women, Bernie ranked seventh, getting about half as much support as the skateboarding phony Beto O’Rourke.
As far as slender, skateboarding Texans go, I’ll take another guy.
Other than Bernie, the only potential candidates I see definitely winning their own state primary, let alone having a shot at the whole thing, are Kamala Harris, Beto O’Rourke, Elizabeth Warren, and Corey Booker.
Early polling places Sanders and Biden, the two with the greatest name recognition, slightly ahead of Trump and the other Dems either tied with or a point behind the president. That’s not good considering Biden and Bernie haven’t declared, and Trump’s approval rating sits around 40 percent while he’s attacked by the DNC itself as being a traitor to the Russian government.
Where the hell do you go from there?
Being that this year’s contenders differ very little on the issues, the real battling will be done behind the scenes as they vie for donations and the public support of institutions. The big guns – Bernie and Biden – will likely wait courtside incase future polling against Trump isn’t promising for the new candidates.
In 2016 Trump took down a Bush, a Clinton and fifteen other Republicans. Even with all the game tape out there, do the new Democrat challengers really stand a chance?
Trump attacks will land as haymakers, as we saw with Elizabeth Warren’s defeat at the battle of Pow Wow Chow, compared to the young Democrat’s measly jabs at Teflon Don’s old dirt.
If only there was one more. If only there was a candidate without the partisan baggage. If only there was a candidate who could win the large group of centrists not in love with Trump, but not willing to vote for a Hillary-type either.
If only there was a candidate without the phoniness, without the partisan past, without the establishment ties. Someone with the support of their state who could capitalize on both the Democrat’s love of minority women, as well as the center-rights shifting against war and toward LGBT friendliness.
If only the DNC’s media mafia didn’t kneecap their best candidate, Tulsi Gabbard’s, campaign before it really started.
Gabbard’s politics are far from my own, but the amount of vitriol directed at her from the liberal media comes off as synthetic. They would rather lose another election than have their tight grip on the party further loosened by another outsider.
Who knows? Maybe Oprah, the good outsider, will run, win and give us all an acre of Syrian land.
Josh Russo is an Assad apologist, Putin puppet, and patsy for all things evil. Contact him at email@example.com