Imagine a toothless granpa talkin’ to kids ’round a fire:

“Boys and girls now listen.  America was a tough country.  England, the most powerful empire on Earth sent all its armies and navies against us, but we beat ’em back.  When the civil war happened, brother fought brother and thousands died, but the nation held together.  And when Hitler took over, well, we whupped him by giving our blood and guts at Normandy.  But then, bygum, Russia sent teenagers to post taunts on Facebook, and that finally did us in.  If only we’d have put those restrictions on the internet.”