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The Inherent Exploitativeness of Polyamorous Threesomes

by | Jul 26, 2017 |

Because God loves to fuck with me, yesterday Snapchat pushed a two-year-old Refinery29 essay into my feed that threw me into a very late-to-the-party rage, which I tweeted rabidly. Its subject matter was polyamory -- namely, one couple's selfish quest to find a unicorn, i.e. a single queer woman who will meet their sexual and emotional needs without asking anything for herself. (The term itself could use a great deal of unpacking, but I'll save that for when this site turns into a sociolinguistics blog.) The article demonstrates an astounding lack of self-awareness. It's bad enough that even...

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Iranian-Americans on the 4th of July: Please Don’t Bomb Our Home Country

by | Jul 5, 2017 |

I can only imagine the pure terror in the hearts of any conservatives who came upon Century Park East last night. Huge crowds of dark-skinned people swarmed around a central stage and a giant veiled object. What could all those Middle Easterners be so excited about? What was it -- a totem of their barbaric religion? A bomb? Some maniacal combination of the two? It was none of those things, but in fact a symbol of the common roots of Iranian and American identity. And it was given a name that any red-blooded American can get behind: the Freedom Sculpture. Commissioned by the Iranian-American...

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Iranian-Americans on the 4th of July: Please Don't Bomb Our Home Country

by | Jul 5, 2017 |

I can only imagine the pure terror in the hearts of any conservatives who came upon Century Park East last night. Huge crowds of dark-skinned people swarmed around a central stage and a giant veiled object. What could all those Middle Easterners be so excited about? What was it -- a totem of their barbaric religion? A bomb? Some maniacal combination of the two? It was none of those things, but in fact a symbol of the common roots of Iranian and American identity. And it was given a name that any red-blooded American can get behind: the Freedom Sculpture. Commissioned by the Iranian-American...

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Stop Arming Terrorists? Duh

by | Jun 9, 2017 | ,

Someone just fucking shoot me. In between doing lines of ground kopi luwak and practicing visualization techniques that are supposed to keep me from slashing the tires of my enemies, I spent my afternoon today brushing up on some current legislation. One focal point was S. 532, a bill introduced by Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY). The bill would block the U.S. government from funding known terrorist groups abroad such as Al Qaeda, Jabhat Fateh al-Sham, ISIS, as well as any foreign governments known to have been funneling support to such groups. Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D-HI) has introduced similar...

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Queer, Unapologetic Libertarianism

by | Jan 23, 2017 |

Between the giant teddybear in the corner and all the tits bouncing around in the dark, I knew I was in the right place. Four hundred miles and a city full of state worshipers behind me, I walked up to the registration table at the Arizona Libertarian Party's 2017 Anti-Inaugural Ball with a huge smile on my face. Phoenix was a breath of fresh air to clear my head of all of Los Angeles's sickening, endearing, tortuous bullshit. This party, put on by the Radical Libertarian Caucus, was a welcome reprieve from the starving-artist life I've been leading in relative solitude. It's been a while...

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Weight Training Has Made Me More Libertarian

by | Dec 2, 2016 |

I've lost 25lbs since April, and it's none of your business. Trust me, I am as loathe to discuss my personal issues with weight, body image, fitness and diet as you are to read about them. Nevertheless, I'm happy to share that tidbit about my physical transformation. This is because it runs parallel with an even more important shift -- one which took place within me. These changes are due to my newfound self-care activity of weight training, and they manifest in 3 key, inherently libertarian ways: greater independence, greater food consciousness, and greater physical strength. It's made me...

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This Lesbertarian Doesn’t Care One Lick About Trump’s LGBT Views

by | Nov 30, 2016 |

Apparently, the most recent permutation in self-righteous outrage toward Donald J. Trump centers on his appointees' attitudes toward lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender issues. I can't escape it on any corner of the Internet where I tend to waste my time: not Reddit, not Tumblr, and certainly not that sorry pit of sociopolitical bedlam known as Facebook. Queer people and their allies are in a veritable tizzy over headlines such as "Trump's latest Cabinet candidate called Orlando massacre a 'distraction' and mocked transgender 'freaks.'" I don't need to waste brainpower reassuring my...

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‘Be a Gary’?

by | Nov 2, 2016 | ,

I really wanted to believe in Gary Johnson. That might sound questionable to anyone who’s watched him. He is far from perfect, usually doesn’t make any sense in live interviews, and seems to see no problem with hedging on his positions till they’re not even really libertarian anymore. At the same time, he has an impressive gubernatorial record and a fondness for referring to the states as “50 laboratories of innovation and best practices,” which speaks to my own ideals for what this country is and should be. When he first ran for president in 2012, my thought was that while of course no...

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