...telling us to conserve energy, sitting in front of his painting with special accent lighting and thermostat turned up so high he doesn't need a sweater.
Austin’s Mayor…
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You Might be a Libertarian
If the police call your home asking you to donate to their fundraiser and you respond, “Am I being detained?” you might be a Libertarian. If you didn’t recognize Walter White had a problem until the FIFTH season of Breaking Bad. You might be a Libertarian. If you thoroughly research the candidates, issues, and propositions before NOT voting. You might be a Libertarian. If you’ve bought schematics for 3D-printed body armor using Bitcoin, you might be a Libertarian. If you've bought raw milk out of someone’s car trunk, but won’t drink fluoridated water, you might be a Libertarian. If you wear...
My First Bernie Spam of the 2020 Election Cycle
Sharing the spam text I got from Bernie Sanders' campaign. I don't even need to change my name for anonymity because they got my name completely wrong. I've had this number for over 25 years. Christopher?
Uncivil Obedience
When I do contract work with the government I make it clear I’m against their rules, but follow all the rules to a T. Which drives them crazy, because they are publicly for the rules but want me to break them to keep things moving.
Wokus Group
I attended a focus group to give feedback about a series of commercials that will air nationally. I think I experienced “snowflakes” in the flesh for the first time. They were offended by something in every one of those commercials. Saying, “The female manager in the first commercial was too dominating. I’m sick and tired of seeing the stereotype that women are bossy.” “The woman in the second commercial was too wimpy. It’s a stereotype to portray women as weak.” “Only one of the three characters in this commercial was a black woman.” Another commercial was simply a man by himself, looking...
I Think I Just Saved Democracy. You’re Welcome.
My latest hairbrained scheme that just might work. The U.S. Capital used to be in New York City, but became so infested with lobbyists it had to move to Philadelphia, and then again to what is now Washington, D.C. One look at D.C. and obviously we need another move. This is going to keep happening, so how about we have each state take turns running the country each year? This also gives states a balance of power without the Electoral College! Colorado's turn will legalize weed on a national level, New Hampshire will have a national ban on compulsory auto insurance, and Nevada will legalize...
Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Sequel
Just saw An Inconvenient Sequel (2017) expecting the latest data on climate change, but just got more of Al Gore making this all about him, going on and on about himself, how people around the world recognize him in the streets and mistakenly think he’s the current President of the United States, how he lost the election and it wasn’t fair, and what a great guy he is for conceding, showing us his concession speech AGAIN. Gore acts like a really needy person desperate for attention. Taking us through his life history, showing us his dog “Bo” named after Obama’s dog (real creative), holding up...
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