Men are killing, raping and beating women, still. The media is reporting on it, with eagerness. The subject is scary, there is a panic. With any panic, there is a need for scapegoats. The spread of blame widens, until eventually everything is toxic, needs to be censored or prohibited and monitored. Security, safety, at least the perception and theatre of such gives the dimension of action.
The violence is not new. It’s ancient. It has many reasons but above all, it’s the responsibility of the individual for their own actions. It’s not because of porn, because where it’s absent the sexual violence is far worse for women and children, historically and present. It is not a lack of religious morals, because inside of theocracies it’s abundant from genital mutilation, to sexual servitude. It’s not a lack of government because totalitarian regimes, from autocracies to the tyranny of the proletariat, it is again abundant. In conservative honour societies, such as Budo Japan we saw the most prolific examples, and from liberal democracies, such examples exist, take My Lai.
No, mastermind is behind it, nor film, book, podcaster, or any sinister cabal of chauvinists. The reasons are broad but also an internal state from within many men.
When alcohol prohibition was enforced last century in the United States, one of the main reasons it was imposed was to protect women. Men were coming home drunk, beating, raping and killing their wives, or other females. The drink, was a convenient foil. Allied with the temperance movement it was an act where government was able to show it was concerned and capable of fixing a problem. Prohibition failed. And, the violence and rape never stopped.
Prohibition always fails. And worsens the problem. But, it’s what government does. Takes things away and imposes violence and pre-crimes everybody. Censorship is brutal, it’s the imposition of violence for speaking words or art, or anything deemed morally or socially dangerous. Benevolence and altruism is cited. The problems never really go away. Often they worsen. It criminalises everything. Which in turn often rewards the sinister and cynical.
One of my proudest coaching moments was when I had a lady who had been beaten and sexually assaulted by her ex partner, took back some dignity. He was not meant to contact her. He continued to do so. We practised in my gym basic combatives, she would release an anger. Hitting the bag, shadow boxing, moving her body with co-ordination. She found a self that had been beaten down. We worked on her tools. One day, I gave her a small wooden baseball bat. She would hit the bags with it and practice her motions. It was a symbolic sword for her dignity. A shield for her home. A gift.
One morning, I received a photo from her of a man, naked, curled on the ground. He had come to her house, broke in, tried to assault her. She used the bat. He submitted. She took the photo, a proud memento of justice. Later on that day, the cops arrived. They confiscated the bat. The monopoly took away the only thing that had stopped him. They wanted to make sure nothing came between them and their lack of service. It is a monopoly after all. It has no interest or any real reason to do anything, other than to extort and make sure it is the power. As her abuser lay on the ground crying in the dirt, she had the power. No cop, or government could remove that dignity from her. Even if they did steal her baseball bat.
I digress.
Another lady, came to my gym with a friend of hers, the friend dealt with women in her condition. By condition, I mean those who had been violently raped. Beaten. Hurt. She came to my gym, scared but angry. She watched the training for a little bit before she joined in. She had every right to not trust another man. Especially one who exhibited an ability for violence. It would take a few sessions before she would speak to me in sentences. Over time, her inner rage soared. She realised that knives would be her fangs. We drilled with the steel. She concealed it, and removed the fangs with precision. Repeating the action. She understood that violence comes suddenly. It is up close and fast. She had learned that no matter how loud you screamed, no one would come. And, when the bad man was caught, the cops would protect him.
When she was in her teens, a man had dragged her into a cubicle. Raped, beat and left her. The man had the mental health defence, where professionals ensure he retains the perks of a sane person while relinquishing any responsibility. It also meant he received benefits, a house, and all the other welfare embraces modern of Australia. The man continued to stalk her, he would come to her work. Walk past, smile. Wave. The cops at times would arrive. They escorted him to his public housing. He would return.
One day when he lingered, she walked up to him, it was only when she told him that she would, “cut the smile from his face,” that his smug grin lowered. Despite his mental health credentials, he was aware of her threat, and the need for his own self preservation. His enjoyment of her anguish dissipated as she felt her fang ready for his flesh.
The police arrived to speak with her. She told them why she did it, who he was. Again. They likely wrote it into their note pad. She then told one of them, if the man comes around again. She would stab him. The cop, took her knife. Her fangs were removed. They robbed her of her defence.
Her uncle went to the man’s house, and told him, “if you go near my niece again, I’ll kill you.”
The police visited the uncle. He was a legal firearm owner. And, by threatening someone, while owning guns in Australia. You commit the most heinous of crimes. He faced jail time, and his property was stolen by the cops. The man at least stopped visiting her. He enjoys his benefits and playing video games on his couch with the support workers, the cops who robbed the uncle and her, protect him.
Cops in Australia randomly search peoples bags and bodies for contraband, anything sharp. I think about all the ladies that I have known over the years who carried, a knife, extendable baton, tent pegs, anything to give them a fighting chance. Their talons, or fangs. Now, to be de-fanged and must be all the more dependent on the monopoly. This is a theatre for some to feel safety, but those who have experienced real, terrifying intimate violence, their safety and how they feel is to be disregarded. I wonder if in time, the State will have it’s armed agents confiscate penises to prevent rape.
Michelle Foster, a mother of two, in her middle thirties went to Colonades shopping centre to withdraw money. She was on her way to see her father. Twenty-year old, Jayden Tanee Lowah, attacked her from behind and beat her to death. Her face was left unrecognisable. Jayden had been recently released from prison. He wanted to remain in there, he had everything he wanted inside prison. He was fed, housed, looked after, protected. Once he was released, he went to the local police station, asking to go back inside, even commenting that he would do something to get himself inside.
Lowah loitered around the centre during the evening and decided that Michelle, a mother, an innocent, would be his means of getting what he wanted. He brutally took her life. He was not found guilty of murder, the mental health shield protected him. He said something about, living in a simulation. He now remains protected and taken care of in a mental health facility. Michelle’s family gets no justice, neither does the community, many of us would make sure that Lowah would not be a threat, ever again. The monopoly that failed to protect Michelle, now protects her murderer. I failed Michelle, finding Lowah’s location was difficult and he was under constant police protection.
In an attempt to combat the ‘manosphere’ content, disingenuous performance males are being platformed to represent ‘masculinity’. They say all the correct things, and don millennial beards or trend ink, or whatever is needed to LARP as a man. What they say, only finds an audience within the community of those who push such males. And, they have little in common with men. The assumption being that by pushing such “positive” males, it will overwhelm the “toxic” influencers.
Good men are ignored and exist inside of a quagmire of both disdain, and convenient usefulness. The collectivist language of man versus woman, removes the individual. It layers over all of us, and people speak over one another. Blaming entire groups, hating, and in many cases, rightfully fearing, entire sexes. The problem, is mutated. It becomes political and turns into policy, and the weakest minds, and softest hands in the room, those who would protect and make excuses for Lowah, and the other males mentioned above, suddenly want to blame other men, and twist it into being a problem of content.
By propping up false depictions of positive masculinity, it pushes away actually positive male role models. The packaging of Luke Bateman, for example as a ‘good man’ ignores that his redemption is the bare minimum. He was addicted to gambling, excessively at the expense of his partners, and loved ones. He over used drugs and alcohol, and allegations of abuse to his partners. Bateman blames his actions and conduct on the “gambling agencies”, those of which he worked for and, one can only imagine if he was not such a loser with his gambling, he may be an advocate for them. His lack of self control and reckless behaviour is not something he owns, rather he now pushes for the banning of all things. The culprits of his conduct, is not him. And, his arc is that he found books, reading. Now, a celebrity in the bookslop realm, he reviews other peoples books. This is his arc, his heroic journey.
The men who did none of those things, who have been consistent and disciplined remain ignored, The redemption arc, the born again, the cleansing approval of the gatekeepers is what is required for a role model. They need to find god, embrace a mental health diagnosis or, read romance fantasy books. And, should males find this sort of person as repulsive, then they are problematic. What a person like Bateman reveals is that abuse and addictions, and harm to women is allowed so long as one has an approved redemption. Never be accountable, always blame. Then, what is blamed will be pursued, and any who have, or do the thing blamed, but do not have problems or victims, then again, they are the problem. This is not an attack on Bateman, or the social media creatures like him. Just don’t assume that such algorithm Beasts will improve any problem, or resonate with men.
The adulation for narcissism as social media creatures, is perhaps appropriate that Bateman’s last name is as it is.
Bateman has a book deal, for books he has not written. Lowah is in a place where he wanted to be, the other men mentioned, are supported and protected. Yet, we have a monopoly that brow beats and pre-crimes males, one that disarms women and a society which elevates certain males, and ignores positive men. One where it’s allowable to attack a collective class for the actions of some from within, to the point that young boys are now viewed as super predators. Akin, to Hilary Clinton’s definition of black males, when it was in vogue to target them, as a deadly class during the late 1980’s, early 1990s. And as in that period, moral panics are rampant, except it’s not from conservative religious groups where the call for more government is coming. It’s coming from the ‘rationale’ left which has rejected class struggle, and embraced the bourgeois privileges and now fixates on abstracts and demographics of values. Gender wars, mental health, welfare for all things, hatred of the worker. The moral panic comes from them.
The recent allegations levelled against Australian Greens senator Jordon Steele-John, reveals the nature of identity politics and the mask it is obsessed with. Since 2017 to the present numerous women have levelled complaints against the senator, who despite his disability and other anti-proletariat left wing credentials, reveals the nature of non-toxic privileges of toxicity. Because of the importance of his identity credentials, his indiscretions were hidden. Just as the right does with it’s politically useful assets, and religious groups have done with the important spiritual guides of their theologies, the left also indulges in with their own. Outwardly a man like Steele-John would be elevated as a positive figure because as a government dependent person, with privilege markers in place, he ticks boxes that elevate his avatar of identity, regardless of any character as a person.
Character is unimportant now. It’s the anti-character age. It is a period of performance and credentials, however these are so defined. An individuals reputation and body of experience is meaningless for those who require screen depictions to define their world. The duality of toxicity arises, both insincere, one is framed as strong and manly, though hates women. Dresses rich and is in every distinction androgynous. The other is seen as positive and a role model, though is weak and has lead lives of recklessness, but in their identity or tears, they are born again, or important entities, also often androgynous. Both are avatars. Real men tend to reject all forms of these creatures but the terminally online, and politically motivated are obsessed with both. Meanwhile women are killed, sometimes the killers are toxic, or they are victims of the diagnosed. Women are raped and assaulted, and sometimes the rapist is an ally, a disabled feminist, or, they are misogynistic pigs.
Or, they smile and charm with handsome features, as Ted Bundy understood to work for him. Or, they are part of a group, a demographic that is protected because to prosecute or mention them reveals a contentious issue of politics. Or, they are in uniform, or profess to serve God, or, they are so very rich, or they are leaders, as individual men, how they are treated, protected is based on their credentials, demographic, bank balance, ideological worth. The stench of their seed is all the same. But, only to their victims. To the outsiders, that’s a meaningless consideration.
The real men who are good do exist, they are often not blathering on podcasts, or surfing the algorithms of outrage or activism. They are ignored and diminished and tarred by the weaknesses, and pathetic unmasculine displays of the digital arch types, who have been imposed upon them, not by their own choice by others who either want to blame them for, or expect them to aspire to be. It is in the ignoring of such men, that problems have arisen. This comes from among the ranks of males themselves who now seek out such performers and social media beasts, or feel obliged to self-victimise. Many males, have in fact rejected positive masculinity. They escape it. And, it turns out, many women seek it, crave it. Despite the narratives. It is a complex world, full of dimensions and nuanced perspectives.
Individuals, all nuanced and complicated. The limitations of social media and the dependency structure of most modern societies rewards a certain fragility and viciousness. The role models do exist, they don’t seek the mantle. They don’t pose with rental super cars or ride their wheel chair into the towers of power, they are all around you. They are not the enemy and despite the memes, don’t see you as the enemy either. And as a man, believe me, if a particular entity got out of the way, certain people would be reduced to liquid pulp. And, women don’t need men to protect them either. So stop de-fanging them.
